T-Ball with Madden

[Matt]

Alright, folks, welcome back! We’re set for a big one here. This is seven-year-old flag football. This is where the legends are born. You got the Yellow Hornets taking on the Green Gators.

Look at these guys at the line. They’re ready. The center… he’s looking upside down through his legs. The quarterback… he’s got his hands out, but he’s also waving to his grandpa in the stands. You gotta have focus! You can’t be looking at grandpa and the snap!

Okay, here’s the snap! FWOOP!

It’s high! It goes right over the quarterback’s head! The ball’s loose!

It’s a pile! BOOM! Everyone’s on the ball! This is what I’m talkin’ about! This is just good, old-fashioned, smash-mouth… wait. Folks, this is flag football. You’re not supposed to have a pile.

The coach is in there. He’s gotta dig ’em out. “Get off! You’re on my kid!” That’s what you’re hearing.

Okay, the Gators get the ball. It’s their turn. Now, watch the motion. See this kid? He’s supposed to go in motion, but he just ran all the way to the water fountain. He’s thirsty. You gotta hydrate, that’s key, but you usually wait for the timeout!

Alright, they snap the ball. The quarterback… this kid’s got a cannon. He rears back… he’s gonna throw it deep!

He throws it! It’s in the air! And… it goes straight up. It’s a pop fly. He threw it right up in the air!

And he catches his own pass! I don’t even know if that’s legal! He caught it and now he’s running!

Here comes the defense! The Hornets are coming! This one little linebacker, he’s fast. He’s gonna get the flag! He dives… WHAM!

He missed the flag! But he got the shorts! He pulled the kid’s shorts clean off! Now you got a runner with no shorts and a defender holding a pair of shorts! That’s not a flag! That’s a pantsing! I don’t think they have a penalty for that!

The coaches are on the field. Everyone’s trying to figure out the ruling. Meanwhile, the runner is just standing there at the 20-yard line. You gotta put your pants back on, son!

Okay, they get it all sorted out. It’s fourth down. The Hornets have the ball. This is the big play.

The quarterback takes the snap. It’s a reverse! He hands it to the running back… who hands it back to the center! I love this! This is trick-er-ation!

The center’s got it! He’s running! He’s got one man to beat!

The defender closes in. He’s gonna pull the flag! He’s got it! He pulls the flag!

But the runner… he doesn’t stop. He just keeps on running. He’s running right past the end zone. He’s running past the snack bar. He’s… he’s going to the parking lot! His mom is yelling that they have to go to a birthday party!

He just ran right out of the game!

This is football, folks! You got chaos. You got trick plays. You got kids running to parties. You just can’t beat it. BOOM!

[Author]

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